A new dawn, filled with endless love

Serendipity

When you know that you know who you love, you can't deny it.
Or go back, or give up, or pretend that you don't buy it.
When it's clear this time you've found the one, you'll never let him go
Cos you know and you know that you know.

When you feel in your skin in your bones and the hollow
Of your heart, there's no way you can wait till tomorrow.
When there isn't any doubt about it once you come this close
Cos you know and you know that you know.

You can feel love's around you like the sky 'round the moon
This is how love has found you, now you know what to do.

When you know that you know who you need, you can't deny it.
Or go back, or give up, or pretend that you don't buy it.
When it's clear this time you've found the one, you'll never let him go
Cos you know and you know that you know.

And it's time you come in from the cold.
And you know that you know.

Baby, it's you

Baby, it's you. (sha la la la la la la) :-)

I'm destined to marry you

The dice were loaded from the start

Juliet the dice were loaded from the start
And I bet and you exploded in my heart

You're my man, I'm your woman

Magic moments with you

Magic, moments,
When two hearts are carin',
Magic, moments,
Memories we've been sharin'. . .
I'll never forget the moment we kissed,
The night of the hayride,
The way that we hugged to try to keep warm,
While takin' a sleigh ride.
Magic, moments,
Memories we've been sharin',
Magic, moments,
When two hearts are carin' . . .
Time can't erase the memory of,
These magic, moments,
Filled with love! 

The Tiger and the Snow (or true love)

Vittoria: Oh my beloved all creation overflows with passion, and like a golden comet in the sky, from my mouth bursts forth this cry: I love you.
Vittoria: I want to make love to you now.
Attilio de Giovanni: That's the best line I ever heard in my life.

Attilio de Giovanni: If she dies, they can close this whole show of a world, they can cart it off, unscrew the stars, roll up the sky and put it on a truck, they can turn off this sunlight i love so much. You know why i love it so much? Because i love it when the sun shines on her. They can take everything away, these carpets, columns, houses, sand, wind, frogs, ripe watermelons, hail, seven in the evening, May, June, July, basil, bees, the sea, courgettes...

This is the only way to love... completely...

There is nothing between us

... not even words

You're closer to me when you say nothing at all.

I'm afraid of big words
and empty promises.

I need you to find new ways to reach me.
I need some other kind of language to speak to you.

I'll speak to you
through the birds that fly over your skies;
through the snowflakes dancing in front of your dazzled eyes;
through the wind caressing your blushed cheeks;
through the stars that watch over you while you sleep;
through the lovers kissing in the alley on your way home;
through the smiles of the children that pass you by;
through the magical creatures of your colourful dreams.

We'll speak
in shades and sounds,
in angles and curves,
in tints and perfumes,
in textures and exclamation marks,
in echoes and beats,
in moans and laughs,
in whispers and thrills,
in love notes and passion acts,
in life and in dreams.

We'll speak the language of our own Wonderland.

All we need

is love... :-)

"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion... love actually is all around." (the Prime Minister)

Wherever you will go

I'll always be there, wherever you will go.
I'll always find you.
You'll always find me.

Wonderful life

Life is a golden chest filled with magic tricks and precious little wonders.

Whenever you look for a miracle in your life, open the chest and let yourself overwhelmed.

Life never fails to amaze us. We should give it a chance. We have nothing to lose.

Life means nothing without happiness; without magic tricks and precious little wonders.

We are F R E E !

Free to live
Free to dream
Free to say YES
Free to say NO
Free to stay
Free to run away
Free to get high
Free to sink low
Free to fall
Free to fall in love
Free to fall in love again
Free to redefine ourselves
Free to break free
Free to break down
Free to break up
Free to be broken and repaired
Free to learn and to forget
Free to imagine and to invent
Free to reinvent our path
Free to time travel
teleport
read minds
synchronize
surrender
conquer
paint
fly
caress
give birth to stars

Free to choose when to be free
Free to choose how to be free
Free to choose not to be free

We are F R E E !

True love's kiss

Hold me

and flowers shall bloom from our wrists

Kiss me

and butterflies shall burst from our lips

Let me in
and stars shall fall over us, for us

Te invat pe tine

Invat sa spal distanta ca sa intre la apa.
O spal de cinci ori pe zi.
Asa, candva o sa dispara cu totul.

Invat sa apuc timpul ca pe o vaza de cristal.
Il ridic cat pot de mult si-apoi ii dau drumul.
Sa se faca tandari.

Invat sa te recunosc dintr-o lume intreaga
Sa te caut cand nu te gasesc
Sa te gasesc cand nu ma astept
Sa te astept cand nu te astepti
sa te caut
sa te gasesc
sa te astept

Invat sa culeg zapada
ca sa-mpletesc din ea poteci
pana la tine
pana la dorul din tine
pana la copilul din tine
pana la zburatorul din tine
si inapoi
pana la mine

Invat sa te vad
cum nu te-a mai vazut nimeni
sa te desfac de umbre
de strigate
de goluri
Sa-ti fac zborul lin
si inima nebuna

Invat sa uit ce-am invatat
pana sa te invat
pe tine.

Take my breath away

Watching every motion in my foolish lover's game
On this endless ocean finally lovers know no shame
Turning and returning to some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion as you turn around and say

Take my breath away
Take my breath away

Watching I keep waiting still anticipating love
Never hesitating to become the fated ones
Turning and returning to some secret place to hide
Watching in slow motion as you turn to me and say

Take my breath away

Through the hourglass I saw you, in time you slipped away
When the mirror crashed I called you, and turned to hear you say
If only for today I am unafraid

Take my breath away
Take my breath away

Watching every motion in this foolish lover's game
Haunted by the notion somewhere there's a love in flames
Turning and returning to some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion as you turn to me and say

Take my breath away
My love, take my breath away

Life (really) is beautiful !

How many of us are still capable of such love, kindness and devotion?

Do you remember this epic moment? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cTR6fk8frs

The Airborne Toxic Event is absolutely massive!

The Airborne Toxic Event - "This is Nowhere" (acoustic)

the airborne toxic event | MySpace Music Videos

Dare to dream!

These are my dreams. What are yours?

http://www.trigwee.com/luiza82#/dreams?page=1

Wishing well

You wanna run away, run away
Just get on the fucking train and leave today
And it doesn't matter where you spend the night
You just might end up somewhere in a fight, in a fight
Or caught in your room on a concrete shelf
Fighting all alone, with yourself, with yourself
And you just wanna feel like a coin that's been tossed
In a wishing well, a wishing well
A wishing well, a wishing well
Well, you're tossed in the air
And you fell and you fell
Through the dark blue waters
Where you cast your spell
Like you were just a wish that could turn out well

...............................................

And she emerged from the dark
Like a ghost in my head
She said, "I haven't forgot
Any words that you said
I just stare at the clocks
And I cry in my sleep
And I tear up your letters
And I burn them in heaps
And I gather the ashes
In that hole in the ground
Where we fell"

For all of us who still believe in kindness

Merry Christmas!

We all have a home somewhere

What does a droplet of rain feel as it reaches the surface of the ocean?
As if it belongs there.

What does the frozen girl feel like when snowflakes are falling on her cheeks?
As if she's being kissed by her frozen boy.

Pure morning

Placebo - Pure Morning
Încărcat de neilrsmith. - See the latest featured music videos.

Swim, don't let yourself sink

You've gotta swim
Swim for your life
Swim for the music
That saves you
When you're not so sure you'll survive
You gotta swim
And swim when it hurts
The whole world is watching
You haven't come this far
To fall off the earth
The currents will pull you
Away from your love
Just keep your head above

.....................................

You gotta swim
Swim in the dark
There's no shame in drifting
Feel the tide shifting and wait for the spark
Yeah you've gotta swim
Don't let yourself sink
Just find the horizon
I promise you it's not as far as you think
The currents will drag us away from our love
Just keep your head above
Just keep your head above
Swim
Just keep your head above
Swim, swim
Just keep your head above
Swim

Happiness is overrated

Who needs love?

Not I!

FORMAT me : ENTER

I was a free space, they were the locked rooms.

I was an open book, they were the encrypted scrolls.

I was an endless river, they were the standing rocks.

I was a compass pointing all directions, they were the settings suns.

I reached for circles, they gave me squares.

I gave them stars, they sent me light bulbs.

I was a warm nearness, they were the frozen North Poles.

I called them poetic names, they tagged me with a military ID.

I showed them never-ending roads, they left me dead-ends.

I was a key.
They were throwing walls at me.

A key can open doors, not walls.

So
I stop
and
forget
who I am.

Forget
the circles
the stars
the poetry
the open spaces
the endless river.

I'm not a key.
I am the walls you threw at me.

We take this jump together

Breathtaking moment!

Depeche Mode - Fragile Tension

Punk-rock rocks! :-)

Lloyd Cole - Lost Weekend
Încărcat de Lloyd-Cole. - See the latest featured music videos.

Dirty dancing

Is there anything sexier than this?

Where The Wild Roses Grow

On the third day he took me to the river
He showed me the roses and we kissed
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he knelt above me with a rock in his fist

On the last day I took her where the wild roses grow
And she lay on the bank, the wind light as a thief
As I kissed her goodbye, I said, "All beauty must die"
And lent down and planted a rose between her teeth

I giorni

No tomorrow

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Mad world

The season of misery and self-pitty has just begun.

Greetings!

We - the miserable souls trapped in this world - welcome you!

Let the tears flowing!

Let the crying never end!

We wish you a pleasant stay!

I don't...

I don't love you
I don't like you
I dig what you do
And that's all
I don't know you
Don't respect you
Don't expect too much
From me or from you

Oh, it's a stinger
It's a bitch
We are lungs spitting welter
A heart with a schism
A bond with a stich

And if I have to chose between me and you
Though it's the last thing that I'd want to do
I don't love you
I don't love you
Stinger

Love. Simple. Love. Strong.

I wish I had a river

It's coming on Christmas

They're cutting down trees

They're putting up reindeer

And singing songs of joy and peace

Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on

But it don't snow here

It stays pretty green

I'm going to make a lot of money

Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene

Oh I wish I had a river

I could skate away on

Oh I wish I had a river so long

I would teach my feet to fly

Oh I wish I had a river

I made my baby cry.

He tried hard to help me

He put me at ease

Lord, he loved me so naughty

Made me weak in the knees

I wish I had a river I could skate away on

I'm so hard to handle

I'm selfish and I'm sad

Now I've gone and lost the best baby

That I ever had

I wish I had a river

I could skate away on

Oh I wish I had a river so long

I would teach my feet to fly

Oh I wish I had a river

I made my baby say goodbye

It's coming on Christmas

They're cutting down trees

They're putting up reindeer

And singing songs of joy and peace

I wish I had a river

I could skate away on.

Love after love

by Derek Walcott

"The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life."


I found this beautiful poem on the foreword of the novel "The Time Traveller's Wife", written by Audrey Niffenegger. I can't wait to read the book!

Who will you be when the end comes?

The end of the world will come, sooner or later. It's just a matter of time.

If this will occur during your lifetime, you'll have to decide quickly and take a stand. So, who will you be: one of the billions of people fighting for their own survival or one of the few who will sacrifice themselves for a greater good - the survival of mankind?

I am totally certain of whom I'm going to be. For me there is just one possible path. I don't love myself as much as I love all the others. And I'm happy to feel this way. Incredibly happy.

If you settled this issue, there is only one more decision to make: what is the image that you'll have in mind right before the whole world falls apart? I don't know about you guys, but I want to be sure that in front of my eyes will flash only moments of love. There is one picture that I like in particular. It always reminds me of the simple beauty of pure love. I think this is what I choose to have in mind in the last instant of my life:

And he smiled shyly at her
And she smiled back with tears in her eyes

And he held her hand as if he would never let go

And she let him hold her as if nothing will ever tear them apart

PS You should see "2012" on the largest screen that you can find in your town. It's really impressive!
PS The photo belongs to Dimitri Caceaune. (http://fhrankee.deviantart.com)

O farama de tinerete

O zi insorita de noiembrie. O alee intr-un parc oarecare. Nu stii cum ai ajuns acolo. Picioarele tale nu mai asculta de mult de tine. Si-au luat lumea in cap. Nu-ti mai amintesti de cand s-a intamplat asta. Te miri cum de este atat de multa liniste cand atatia oameni misuna in jurul tau. Uite, baietelul acela cu par blond deschide larg gura, de parca isi striga sora aflata in leaganul alaturat, dar niciun sunet nu strabate aerul pana la tine. Si de ce se misca atat de incet totul ? Doi indragostiti se fugaresc cu zambetele pana la urechi si abia reusesc sa nu te imbranceasca dar tie ti se pare ca ai putea strabate tot parcul si i-ai gasi abia cu doi pasi mai departe de unde esti acum. « Ce Doamne-iarta-ma se intampla cu mine ? »

Te asezi pe o banca pe care ai mai stat candva cand erai mai tanara si lumea se purta cu tine de parca mergeai in ritm cu ea, nu de una singura. Iti lasi capul pe spate asa cum iti placea mereu s-o faci si privesti crengile de platan de deasupra ta. E frumos, desi nu atat de frumos pe cat era odata. Stii ca ar trebui sa vezi mai multe culori si sa te incante mai mult franturile de cer senin care se intrezaresc printre frunze. Inchizi ochii si apoi ii redeschizi, in speranta ca la a doua tentativa vei vedea mai mult decat nuante de maro si petice de cer de un gri insipid. Dezamagire totala. Nicio schimbare. Iti place ceea ce vezi dar stii ca puteai distinge mult mai multe candva. De la globuletele care atarna de ramuri si nervurile frunzelor de un galben nespus de jucaus pana la nuantele de kaki ale scoartei. « Trebuie sa fie mai mult de atat. »

Indignata, opresti primul trecator care se iveste. E o femeie la vreo patruzeci de ani. «Fiti draguta, vreau sa va intreb ceva. Va rog sa va uitati putin la coroana acestui copac si sa-mi spuneti ce vedeti.» Femeia priveste nedumerita in sus si apoi spune cu un aer total descumpanit : « Niste crengi goale si triste, ce as putea sa vad altceva ? »

Iti dau lacrimile. Nu se poate sa fie doar atat. Tu vezi clar frunzele frumos dantelate si franturile de cer dintre ele, dar stii ca lipseste ceva. Ar trebui sa vezi mai mult, si nu stii cum sa faci sa reusesti asta.

Exact atunci trece pe langa tine un baiat cu par negru si obraji imbujorati. Te uiti in urma lui spunandu-ti ca daca mai erai tanara, ai fi alergat dupa el si l-ai fi sarutat pe acei obraji atat de frumosi. Poate te-ar fi placut si ati fi continuat sa va plimbati impreuna. Dar nu mai e cazul… Ai ajuns la varsta la care nu-ti mai este permisa o astfel de fericire simpla. Apleci trista capul si incepi sa plangi usor. Auzi pasi. Tanarul s-a intors din drum si vine catre tine. Este chiar mai frumos decat ti s-a parut la prima vedere. « Doamne, oare de ce se apropie ? » Tanarul ajunge in dreptul tau si cu cea mai candida voce te intreaba : « Buna, cred ca suntem colegi de liceu. Esti clasa a XII-a la liceul Tudor Vianu ? Ma bucur ca te regasesc aici. De mult am vrut sa-ti vorbesc. » Apoi zambeste timid si isi lasa privirea in pamant.

Nu mai ai cuvinte. Il iei de mana si ii faci semn sa se aseze langa tine pe banca. Va lasati amandoi capul pe spate si priviti spre cer, printre crengile de platan. O explozie de nuante se naste in fata ochilor tai inmarmuriti de uimire. Dintr-o data totul este cum era candva : colorat, zgomotos, parfumat. Iti auzi inima batand tot mai repede. Si de data asta, nu bate singura. Are ecou. Inima baiatului frumos de langa tine care iti strange mana de parca nu ar mai vrea sa ti-o lase niciodata.

~ O farama de tinerete, de atat avem nevoie. Cineva care sa creada in tineretea noastra. ~

Shake my disease

My favourite DM song! Very dear to my heart!

The future is unfolding now

What do you want to do in 2010?

If you're out of ideas, check out this inspiring website: www.43things.com

First things that spring to my mind:

- bring a smile on other people's faces;
- find hapiness in being by myself;
- being more focused on my long-term goals;
- becoming more self-confident;
- reading and writing more;
- stop feeling sorry for myself;
- being accepted to a masters programme in the UK.

Well, yes, no love involved I suppose. Too much scars and open wounds for now. 

It is said that the most beautiful things in life are free and... unexpected... so... I let my future suprise me. :-)

Let me sing you a waltz

---

The piano keeps me alive

The past is dead...

I'm losing myself in memories of the future...

I'm a piano key waiting for the right fingers...

A great pianist

Today I had the rare chance of meeting a very special man. A very talented pianist.

He plays Yann Tiersen's song and he even composed an original song: The Rubicon Song. His interpretation is absolutely impressive and emotional. He really melts my heart.

Please meet a great pianist: Andrei!

The Rubicon Song (his own composition)

Comptine d'un autre été (Yann Tiersen)

Lux Aeterna (Requiem For a Dream movie)

No words could ever describe the beauty of a piano song... I'm speechless.

I can't ever lose control with you

Twilight-best Kiss-Bella Edward HQ - Free videos are just a click away

I think it's my favourite love scene ever. There is so much chemical attraction between them and still, he finds the inner strength to control himself, in order not to hurt her.

It'a new dawn, It's a new day, It's a new life for me

Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Reeds driftin' on by you know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Fish in the sea you know how I feel
River running free you know how I feel
blossom in the trees you know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don't you
know
Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me

Stars when you shine you know how I feel
Scent of the pine you know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Let the cut begin

I can see clearly now and I can wait for love.
Someone shared this song with me today. Thank you, my dear friend. It's very meaningful for me, at this moment of my life. It gives me hope. And hope is all I need right now. Thank you!

Sixpence None the Richer - Love

"You must be the seed. Descend into the earth.
Searching for the union of death, and then rebirth."

But I need love. It is patience, it is kindness.
I need love. It is rain after the dryness.
I need love. Sister Wisdom, help me see
It's the one thing that I need.
The only thing that I need.

"The Harvester is near. His blade is on your skin.
To plant a new beginning." Well then let the cut begin.

But I need love. It is patience, it is kindness.
I need love. It is rain after the dryness.
I need love. Sister Wisdom, help me see
It's the one thing that I need.
The only thing that I need.

"The Harvester is near. His blade is on your skin.
To plant a new beginning." Well then let the cut begin.
Let the cut begin.

Not entirely hopeless

I think I know the answer to the question in my previous post:

when hope dies, another hope takes its place...

at least that's what I hope

and if I still hope that, it means that I'm not completely hopeless, right?

 Someone will reach out for me and grab my hand

One

Accusticprism | MySpace Video

Is it getting better

Or do you feel the same

Will it make it easier on you now

You got someone to blame

You say...

One love

One life

When it's one need

In the night

One love

We get to share it

Leaves you baby if you

Don't care for it

Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

Stuck in a Moment I Can't Get Out Of

paul hewson | MySpace Video

I'm not afraid of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me that I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to find a decent melody
A song that I can sing in my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling, look at you
You gotta stand up straight
Carry your own weight
These tears are going nowhere, baby

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass
It's just a moment
This time will pass

Cold, in my soul

God, I feel so empty and alone...

Things to do when you're dead...

... and you struggle to be alive again:

- Breathe! (Just keep on breathing!)
- Cry! (It's ok to cry.)
- Allow yourself at least 2 months of grief.
- Don't pretend that you're ok. Be miserable! Be weak! Be annoying! You should be! It's your right! You earned it when you died!
- Breathe! (Just keep on breathing!)

Mason Jennings - Your New Man

For someone very special to me, who likes this song as much as I do.

My dear, I hope this will bring a smile on your face. :-)

Fara tine - Ana Blandiana

"Fără tine mi-e frig
N-am înţeles niciodată
Cum simte aerul
Că ai plecat.
Universul se strânge
Ca o minge plesnită
Şi-şi lasă pe mine zdrenţele reci.
Câinele negru
Cu burta întinsă duios pe zăpadă
Se scoală şi se îndepărtează
Privindu-mă în ochi,
Refuzând să-şi spună numele.
Începe să fulguie.
Mă ustură pielea
Pe locul de unde te-ai rupt.
Şi mi-e frig,
Când simt cum cade moale,
Odată cu zăpada,
Această rugăciune către nimeni."

There is no escape from here... There is nothing left to live... It's the end.

How long before you tell the truth?

Ooh, baby don't you know I suffer?

Oh, baby can you hear me moan?

You caught me under false pretenses

How long before you let me go?

Ooh, you set my soul alight

Ooh, you set my soul alight

Glaciers melting in the dead of night

And the superstars sucked into the supermassive

(Ooh, you set my soul alight)

Glaciers melting in the dead of night

And the superstars sucked into the supermassive

(Ooh, you set my soul)

I thought I was a fool for no one

But ooh, baby I'm a fool for you

You're the queen of the superficial

And how long before you tell the truth?

Ooh, you set my soul alight

Ooh, you set my soul alight

Supermassive black hole

Supermassive black hole

Supermassive black hole

Supermassive black hole

I will be chasing the starlight

Far away
This ship is taking me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

Starlight
I will be chasing the starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms

My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to re-ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive

But I'll never let you go
If you promised not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms

It's been a long time now...

Well it's been a long time, long time now
Since I've seen you smile
And I'll gamble away my fright
And I'll gamble away my time
And in a year, a year or so
This will slip into the sea
Well it's been a long time, long time now
Since I've seen you smile

Esti liber sa pleci

Nu
Nu am sa primesc acest inel
Intelege-ma: te iubesc prea mult ca sa te leg de mine
Te vreau fluture liber
Te vreau pasare in zbor
Te vreau zambet naiv de copil

Nu
Nu am sa primesc aceasta promisiune
Crede-ma: am sa te iubesc
Fara legaminte
Fara noduri
Fara corzi

Da
Am sa accept iubirea ta doar asa – in libertate:
Liber sa pleci (departe de mine)
Liber sa cauti (altceva)
Liber sa fugi (in alta inima)
Si totusi,
Alegand sa ramai

Pentru ca ochii tai sunt
orbi
fara mine

Pentru ca sangele tau
curge
prin venele mele

Pentru ca tu
nu stii
decat numele meu.

You're my high, baby

~ Common dialogue between two lovers ~

Sweet darling
There's nothing in this world
I wouldn't bear for you
For you're my high
Baby
You're my sky

Sweet angel
There's nothing in this world
I wouldn't dream for you
For you're my starry night
Love
You're my shining light

Kiss me, darling
Let the healing begin
Let the spinning never end
And never leave me
Baby
Never leave me

I'll kiss your rose lips, angel
I'll wash your tears away
I'll make you whole again
And I'll never fail you
Love
I'll never fail you

Hold me, darling
Hold my life in your arms
Hold me like you can't breathe without me
And never break me
Baby
Never break me

I'll hold your fragile ankles, angel
I'll hold your knees and your wrists
I'll hold your sky and your earth
I swear
I'll breathe your air
I'll eat your words
I'll drink your fears
I'll watch your smile rising in the morning
I'll carry your heart in mine
Just never doubt me
Love
Just never doubt me

I'll never doubt you, darling
Just keep on kissing me
Just keep on spinning me
For you're my high
Baby
You're my sky

Dying with the speed of light

I'm getting closer to that line
the bright line of the horizon
where all pain dissolves.
I'm the only traveller
flying in this dark cold night
where no hope is left.

I'm getting closer to that point
the vantage point of the galaxy
where all wars come to an end.
I'm heading for this fall alone
swimming through sunken suns
and aching planets.

As I plunge into the pitch-black abyss,
fiery comets start haunting me,
pushing me towards blazing supernovas
and super-massive black holes.
The universe erupts in glaring lights
dazzling my teary eyes.
Everything is illuminated and boiling
yet, blood is freezing in my veins
and my breath turns into icicles.

I'm falling faster and faster now.

Worlds are exploding all around me
as the smell of gunpowder and burnt stardust
fills my lungs with dying wishes.
I scream out my pain
but no one can hear me
and my scream breaks into sharp pieces
echoing back to me
piercing my untouched hips
my cold pale lips
my barren chest.

As I'm dying with the speed of light
I can almost hear the sound of stellar birth
getting louder
and louder.

Come, love, pull the black veil of death
over my fragile shoulders
and smash my bones to the ground.
Split me into millions of fragments
of cosmic dust
and scatter me into
infinity.

What drives us towards a change?

Can we really change for the better? If we can, what drives us towards change? The loss of a dear one, a strong model in our life, the disappointment in our parents eyes? Or maybe true love?

We should try more

Recently, I've stumbled upon a piece of news that made me terribly sad and angry. An Oxford student committed suicide by hanging. He was 21 years old, he was bright and friendly but he was overwhelmed by sadness and disappointment. His Twitter profile showed signs of depression. He tried to warn us. He tried to reach for support. How could this happen?

Who is to blame?

How can friends or family members see that their beloved one has thoughts such as: "Who I’d like to meet: God — just to ask him what I’ve done wrong." and not do anything to prevent the tragedy?

How many times did I feel like I had reached the end of the road? How many times did I write about emptiness and despair? How many times did my so-called close ones worry about me? Never. They thought that my behavior was either childish, either temporary. Or, even if they really believed that I didn't find a purpose in life anymore, they still let me fight my demons all by myself, arguing that: "You're strong enough. I know you won't do it."

How can you risk a life just like that? How can you love someone and not take them seriously? How can you judge them by your own mentality? How can you not see when they ask for your help? How can you be so ignorant?

But this is not about me. This is about all those lost souls who desperately try to find something or someone to hang on and nobody gives a damn. This is about all those who are begging for our humanity. Have we really lost our humanity? Have we really died as humans?

There are still some of us who still care, who still try to make a difference, who still love mankind and who still find the time to save lives. Please read this wonderful text and learn from this young man how to save a life.

"Nothing can stop you from turning dust into rainbows, from drying people's tears."
OPEN YOUR EYES! OPEN YOUR HEART! BE HUMANE!

Se varsa octombrie

Plouă octombrie
pe umerii mei goi.
Plouă octombrie
şi mi-e-aşa de frig
că mi-au amorţit gândurile rămase
nerostite.

Inspir parfum
de frunze strivite
sub tălpi însingurate
iar pielea-mi miroase
a roşcove ude
şi-a pământ putrezit.

Toarnă cu semne
de disperare
şi vârfuri de umbrelă.
Toarnă cu vârfuri de umbrelă
iar oasele-mi sunt frânte,
buzele rupte,
şi inima străpunsă.

Se varsă octombrie
pe pieptul meu ruginit.
Se varsă octombrie
şi mi-e-aşa de toamnă
că mi s-au sinucis fluturii
din vene.

Mi-e-aşa de toamnă
că mi-ai murit în pantec
Când peste noi
se vărsa octombrie...

The real question

Where do you go when you have failed each and every one around you?
Where do you go when you have failed yourself like no one else has ever failed you before?
How can you hide this shame?
How can you bear this blame?
How can you expel yourself from your skin?
How can you be somebody else? Somebody stronger. Somebody sunnier. Somebody lighter.

I think the question is not: "To be or not to be?"
I don't think we have the power to choose in this matter.

The real question is: "How can you be when you no longer want to be?"
or
"Who can you be when you no longer want to be yourself?"

Despre ceea ce nu este fericirea

De-a lungul timpului am avut diferite pareri in ce priveste fericirea. Rand pe rand, am crezut ca este vorba de dragoste, pasiune sau familie. Probabil ca toate la un loc formeaza fericirea. Probabil ca toate la un loc, plus micile bucurii ale vietii, completeaza imaginea unui om fericit. Poate ca depinde de la un om la altul. Cert este ca am inteles ce NU este fericirea: prezenta fricii.

Am trait toata viata sub imperiul anumitor temeri care mi-au strivit tamplele de asfalt si mi-au dat sa inteleg ca n-am nicio sansa sa sper la fericire. Pe scurt, in diferite etape ale vietii mele, am trait mereu cu frica de a pierde o persoana iubita. Rand pe rand, am fost paralizata de gandul pierderii respective si nu o data am ajuns chiar sa pierd acel suflet drag. M-am intrebat mereu de ce imi este dat sa traiesc aceasta perpetua teama de a pierde dragostea. Oare eu, cu frica aceasta inoculata adanc in mine inca din copilarie, atrag asupra mea aceste situatii? Oare eu chiar nu mai sunt capabila sa trec peste temerile astea si sa cred in fericire? Sau pur si simplu inca nu a venit timpul?

Am sufletul rupt intre nevoia de a iubi liber, fara temeri, si nevoia de a ma inchide in mine, resemnata. Nu este nimic mai rau pe lumea asta decat a trai intr-o panica permanenta. Nimic altceva nu iti poate frange aripile mai brutal decat frica. Teama te secatuieste de orice suflu vital si de pofta de viata. Teama iti aminteste ca esti mic, umil, trecator; ca nu ai dreptul sa crezi, sa speri, sa visezi. Desi ai acest drept. Ai acest drept la fericire. Si numai dragostea adevarata te poate vindeca de aceste temeri pentru a fi din nou liber sa fii fericit. Cati dintre noi nu asteptam cu incheieturile inghetate acel moment cand vom fi eliberati din coliviile fricii? Astept acel moment cu ultimele licariri de speranta.

Nu vreau sa cred ca singurul meu sens in lumea asta a fost sa inteleg ceea ce nu este fericirea...

Control me, Control you

Tell me, my sweetheart, in this love game we’re playing, if given the chance to choose, what would you prefer: controlling me or letting me control you?

Think about it: I’d be what you want me to be. I’d know when to smile flirtatiously or laugh childishly. I’d sense when you want me shy or when you need me red-blooded. I’d taunt you, tease you, please you, caress you, succumb to you, when you want it, how you want it. I’d play gently with your freckles until the break of dawn or I’d hurt my fingertips on the piano keys playing a passionate never-ending love song. It would be your call and I’d always be there for you. Only for you.

Or, you could let me use you, confuse you and abuse you. You’d paint my summer sky with water lilies just because I’ve always had this dream. You’d invent new words and new gestures only because I want you to love me differently. You’d stay wide awake every night only because I want you to write me long poems about the way I breathe in my sleep. You’d seduce me with your lingering eyes or you’d break my bones in a volcanic embrace. It would be my call and you’d always be there for me. Only for me.

If given this chance to choose, I’d definitely prefer to let you control me. You know why? Because I’m hanging on your love and I need to be sure that you truly love me. So yes, I would give myself to you completely. I’d be small, I’d be humble, I’d dance on your music, I’d walk on your shoes, I’d see the world in your eyes, I’d feed on your dreams, I’d fall in love with your demons, I’d even let you crush my heart under your feet if this is your wish.

Tell me, dearest, wouldn’t you love me more if you saw me sacrificing my freedom, my will, my soul, only to know the real you, risking everything only to hear you whisper a genuine word of endearment, only to feel a pure and uncontrolled love emotion in your eyes?

And tell me, love, if I’d make you love me more by giving myself to you, who’d be in control and who’d be the controlled one then?

~ Inspired by the movie "Gamer" ~

Happy ending for whom?

I saw Two Lovers the other evening. I left the cinema with tears in my eyes and a sour feeling of emptiness in my chest.

"Come on, it wasn't such a bad ending after all!", I say to myself. One might even say that it was a sort of happy ending.

The question is "Happy ending for whom?" It can never be a happy ending for everyone. Some of us are always left behind. Left to suffer. Left to wonder. Left to return constantly to the moment where our hopes and dreams were torn apart and smashed to the ground.

Indeed, the screenplay offered a "convenient" closure for every character. Nevertheless, what did you feel when Michelle said to Leonard: "I'm not coming. I'm sorry. You're such a great man. But he wants to marry me."? Did you see the paralyzing pain on his face? I quivered thinking that the suffering was too unbearable for him. I really thought that it was the end of the road for him. It would have been the end of the road for me, if I were him. Instead, he found the only way to avoid committing suicide: giving himself to another. But with what price? Tell me. With what price?

The age of loneliness

I must have become a grown-up by now. I’ll be 27 by the end of this year.

It seems that, by this age, friends of mine from high school have already had the time to get married, have children and even get a divorce. Meanwhile, I’m lonelier than I’ve ever been before. In fact, I’ve never been alone until recently.

What happened to me? How did I get here? How come I ended up alone when I spent every single moment of this life giving myself in the name of love?

I keep browsing the pages of my past trying to figure out a fatal mistake or a clear sign of bad luck that could explain my downfall. If only I could understand the reason for this loneliness... If only I knew which was the exact moment in time when everything started crumbling down. When did I start dying and why?

Digging up my history, I keep getting this dusty image of a young girl with high hopes of love. That was me undoubtedly, but It feels like that was somewhere in another life, in another land, far-far away. It’s strange that it’s the only picture of me that I’ve kept in mind. No matter how hard I try to find another one, the same image comes back to me, hunting my memory. I was so in love with the feeling of love, back then. My heart was pure, my nights and days were filled with amazing dreams and my trust in mankind was unshaken. How did I end up broken, dreamless and mistrustful? How did my eyes get so weary and gloomy? I used to shine so beautifully... I used to imagine myself as a happy devoted wife and mother... I used to live only for the loved one...

"You shouldn’t worry, dear. Getting married is a piece of cake. It can happen in the blink of an eye. It will happen, no doubt about that." Nice people keep on telling me this kind of words only to build me some confidence.

"Not if you happen to be the kind of person that still believes in soul mates." I answer them invariably while they force themselves to put on a smile and then drown in silence. They cannot comfort me anymore.

The painful truth is that I’ve reached the age when my friends have already had the time to marry, feel alive and get bored, and I’m still alone, contemplating my messed-up life and holding in my hand the picture of the dreamer girl that I used to be long before I’ve become the dead man walking that I am today.

I won't look for the easy way out

Today. It's so damn cold today. The rain doesn't seem to stop very soon and the streets are almost entirely submerged in water. I've just finished my gym class. I'm exhausted but I feel so great. I put on my tights, my pencil skirt and my purple blouse and I'm just about to leave the building when I receive your call. You remind me not to be bold and walk on my way home.

"Your body is still warm and it's freezing outside. You should get a cab. Please take a cab!"

As soon as I hang up the phone, I open the exit door and I'm strongly hit by the harsh wind. I stay still for a few moments. I can feel the cold drops of rain falling over my flushed cheeks. It's such a bitter-sweet feeling that I close my eyes and start smiling. I pump up my chest, greedily inhaling the fresh air, filling up my lungs with the smell of autumn. As I let the cold wave embrace my body, I quiver and I find myself uttering out loud the following words:

"I won't look for the easy way out of this messy life of mine."

A pleasant feeling of tranquility suddenly overwhelms me. I open my eyes and start walking in the heavy rain, deciding not to open the umbrella. I step firmly on the flooded sidewalk, soaked up to the skin, shivering but unusually happy.

Yes, this is the first day of the rest of my life and I'm not looking for any loopholes in this screenplay. I will accept whatever I have to bear, I will face whatever I have to confront, I will fight whatever battles I have to hold.

I won't open my umbrella.
I won't get a cab.
I won't take any painkillers.
I won't scream for help.
I won't wear any life jackets.
I won't drug myself only to escape this reality.
I'm keeping my eyes wide open, my senses wide awake and my heart wide alive.

I want to feel life running through my veins. I want to shout as loud as I can:
"I'm not afraid to be alone. I'm not afraid to lose everything and start all over. I'm not afraid to be murdered and born again. I'm not afraid to watch my dreams die because I know I'll always come up with new ones. I'm not afraid to live with bleeding wounds because I know someone will heal them some day."

So I'm not looking for the easy way out. I want life to hit me as hard as it can. I'll always turn the other cheek around and say: "Thank you, I've never felt so alive before!"