The problem with Edward

Whether we're talking about Edward Cullen (Twilight) or Edward Scissorhands, what we're actually talking about is the "Edward" type of man.

So what makes this Edward type?

Some people would think that it's all about the looks. Edward has deep dark eyes, messy silky dark hair, reddish lips and cold pale skin. The general features of his body, delicate to the point of being perceived as feminine, indicate a rather fragile character. In fact, Edward is much stronger than we could imagine just by looking at him and his strength comes from the inside.

Some others would think that it's all about the feelings. Edward not only experiences intense feelings and emotions, but he displays them. He falls in love madly and irrevocably. He would never stop believing in true love and this is why he is never afraid to risk anything for it. He is kind, gentle and romantic to the point of being considered naive and cheesy. Actually, his innocence comes from a genuinely pure heart.

If we sum up all these elements, we can easily conclude that what really makes Edward a self-contained type of man could be condensed in one single word: DIFFERENT. Yes, Edward is different from most men in so many ways. And I'm not talking about having scissors instead of hands or feeding on human blood. And it's not about the looks, for these could be deceiving. He may look feminine, though he triggers an incredible sexual attraction in women. He may look frail, though he's capable of great acts of courage when his love is in danger. He may look strange because very few of us can relate to his way of loving and living. This is why he always seems like he's coming from outer-space or at least from a long-forgotten romantic age. In fact, Edward strives for understanding but what is really essential about him is that he believes in soul-mates and he would do literally anything to find and keep his girl protected.

So, if this Edward is such a special and perfect guy, what's the problem with him? Why is it so difficult for him to find his happiness?

First of all, he doesn't seem to be "man enough" for most of the modern girls.
Reaction type 1: "Are you serious? Just look at him. He looks/thinks like a woman. How can he pretend to be a man?"
However, many of these girls will desperately need an Edward at least once in their lifetime, after they will have had enough of the vanity, indifference, deceiving, lust and all the other attributes of the much-adored hunky modern man.

Second of all, he's just too good to be true and after a while, he becomes boring.
Reaction type 2: "Oh, I would love a man like that. Actually, I did have an Edward once but it didn't work. You see, he was too good for me. I needed something else."
So, even if some of us had the rare chance of having an Edward in our life, we thought that he was too dreamy and unrealistic and maybe a bit too romantic for our world.

So what are the odds for Edward to find his half? Because there is still another problem:
If you eliminate all the type 1 and type 2 girls and if you admit that the very few left who might really need an Edward could be on the other side of the Earth, speaking a different language and living in a totally different culture, you can easily figure that our strange sensitive Edward has almost no chance whatsoever to fulfill his purpose in this life. Because yes, this is the real problem with Edward: he cannot live only for the sake of wealth, power, career, popularity or pleasure. All these mean nothing to him if he doesn't have his beloved one next to him.

I think what I'm trying to say is that, whether you are an Edward or a girl waiting for an Edward, whether you believe in fate or in coincidences, never stop believing in each other because you know it just like I know it that nothing else in this world would fill your heart with happiness. Most of all, nothing else in this world is worth all the loneliness, the pain and the desperate search. True love, it's all about true love, from the very beginning till the very end.

(first published in November 2009 on http://luiza82.deviantart.com/art/The-problem-with-Edward-143991948) 

despre distanta care doare

Citeam de curând un articol foarte reușit din revista Psychologies despre momentul în care acel coup de foudre inițial se transformă în dragoste indestructibilă. Autorul enumera acolo mai multe elemente care pot indica faptul că fulminanta și fragila îndrăgosteală a prins contur și greutate, devenind un sentiment curat și durabil. Unul dintre ele era momentul în care simți ca distanța doare (deși și celelalte erau tot pe atât de pertinente - o sa fac rost de articol și am sa vă citez din el pentru că merită). Ați simțit vreodată că sunteți atât de legat de un trup și de un suflet încât a fi departe de el doare de ca și cum ți-ar fi smulsă inima din piept? Să nu mai poți respira, să nu mai poți observa culorile din jur, să nu mai vrei să mănânci, să dormi, să trăiești? Să refuzi orice ai putea trăi numai pentru că ar fi fără acel cineva? Să simți că nimic nu mai are gust, că te doare în capul pieptului de dor, că ai în permanență un nod în gât, că îți dau lacrimile în cele mai nepotrivite momente ale zilei, că atunci când rămâi singur îți pui capul în palme și începi să plângi în hohote pentru că nu mai suporți golul din tine cu care trebuie să te trezești zi de zi, blestemând serile pentru că abia atunci conștientizezi cât ești de sfâșiat și rugându-te să reziști cu toată durerea asta până în binecuvântata zi când îți vei lipi urechea de pieptul celuilalt și vei simți cum ritmul inimii lui te readuce la viață iar atunci, abia atunci, totul va avea din nou sens? Abia atunci îți va fi din nou foame, sete, somn, poftă. Abia atunci îți vei pipăi capul pieptului și-ți vei spune: "În sfârșit, sunt complet!" Întrebarea e: cum învățăm să trăim cu acest gol în noi, așteptând acel moment în care vom fi din nou întregi?

The Dot and the Line: A Romance in Lower Mathematics

I want to share with you something that I discovered today and that impressed me a lot. "The Dot and the Line: A Romance in Lower Mathematics" is an animated short film directed and produced by the legendary Chuck Jones - who directed, among others, the cartoons starring Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Road Runner, Silvester etc. The 10 minute film tells a universal love story depicted in a very original way. The girl and the boy, the classical romantic characters, are replaced here with a (red) dot and a (blue) line.

The line, a rigid but affectionate character, falls in love with the spontaneous and exhilarating dot. The latter, however, finds the line to be boring and conventional and directs her attention towards a wild squiggle. The line, feeling motivated to do anything in his powers to win the dot's heart, overcomes his own limitations and, at the end of a painfully struggling period of time, learns how to bend and turn himself himself into an infinite number of geometric shapes. Now he is able to become whatever the dot dreams of, achieving an extreme level of complexity that draws the dot's attention. The dot finally understands that the squiggle's flexibility doesn't come from its open-mindedness and imagination, but from a mere chaotic behaviour, whereas, the various shapes of the line are a product of a voluntary act of creation and love. Ultimately, the dot falls in love with the romantic tender line and, we hope, they live happily ever-after.

This beautiful love story raised me one more time the following dilemma:
Is love dependent of the loved object, or is it something dependent only of the person who experiences love?

Put in other words: is true love dependent of the behaviour of the loved one? I mean, is it really love when I say: "I love him because he's so good to me", or is it love only when I say: "I don't know why I love him. I love him because I can't help not loving him, even if the feelings are not reciprocated."?

I haven't decided yet on this matter but I tend to believe in the second version. Anyway, I think this is something worth pondering over.

I leave you with the animated film that inspired this article. I hope this will bring a smile on your face. :-)

Seek your ideal foolishly

Have you ever spent a twilight in the heart of your city, on a freezing winter day? You know, just to get yourself lost in the crowds and breathe the cold air in your lungs. I did that yesterday and it was really inspiring. I stood on a bridge over the river that crosses the center of my city, with my elbows resting on the icy concrete railing, with my music in my ears, contemplating the colorful lights of the buildings reflecting on the water and the cars and the pedestrians that passed me by.

I was pondering about the film that I saw the night before: "Agora (trailer)". The main character was a woman who dedicated her life to philosophy in a time when Ancient Alexandria was suffering massive and profound changes: the conquest of the Romans and the forceful passage from polytheism to Christianity. While other spectators found it amusing that in bloody times like those a woman sacrificed her womanhood for a "purposeless" ideal such as philosophy, I was crying my eyes out. She believed in her ideal, she lived for it and she died for it. I related so much to her because all my life I have felt like this: constantly struggling to live for an ideal, even if everybody was telling me that I'm the only one in this dream.

So, the question is (because there is always a question):

"Is it worth risking everything for any ideal?" My answer: "No".

But: "Is it worth risking everything for your own ideal?".

My answer is: "Definitely, YES!"

Why? Because I need to feel there is much more to life than a mere survival.

I need to have a purpose, a higher purpose, the kind of purpose that lifts you up and allows you to embrace life to the fullest.

I want you to stop for a moment from your daily routine and ask yourself this:

What is your most intimate ideal, the one for which you are willing to risk it all? The one that would make your existence purposeful.

The one that would fill your heart with elation.

I found my own ideal a long time ago. I have no doubt about it. All my thoughts and feelings pull me towards it every step of the way. I cannot breathe without it. I cannot dream without it. I cannot live without trying to reach it and I will certainly die with it in my mind, whether I will have achieved it or not.

"Without a purpose, we would not exist." (Matrix)

I am Hypatia and Davus from Agora, at the same time

I am Forrest Gump and Jenny Curran, at the same time

I am Ada McGrath from The Piano

I am Atreju from The Neverending Story

I am Noah Calhoun from The Notebook

I am Guido Orefice from La Vita e bella

I am Paul Rivers from 21 Grams

I am Ed Bloom from Big Fish

I am Rose from Titanic

I am Marianne from Sense and Sensibility

I am Izzi from The Fountain

I am Attilio de Giovanni from La Tigre e la neve

I am Amelie

I am Joan of Arc

I am William Wallace

I never give up

Not for anything in this world

"There's someone special for everyone, as long as you keep your eyes open. Seek love foolishly, my boy, even if it kills you."

The following video is the most beautiful scene I have ever seen.
This is exactly what it should be like: unstoppable, unbreakable, uncontrollable.



This reminds me of an unforgettable scene from "Big Fish".

"They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops. And it does."



Whatever your ideal is, seek it foolishly and never give up trying to reach it.

Without an ideal, we are nothing but empty wandering souls.

Did I ever tell you that I've been struck by lightning seven times?

Have you ever observed the funny side of love?

Well, consider the fortunate/unfortunate character from "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", the one that got struck by lightning seven times in his life and never got killed.

It occurred to me this morning that falling in love is exactly like getting struck by a lightning. You're taking a walk on a perfectly sunny day and suddenly a big stormy cloud forms above your head and a super-massive lightning bolt strikes you right in the chest: CRASH! BOOM! BANG!!! You're being set on fire from head to toe.

The funniest part of the story is that you don't die even if the flames will never quench. Instead, you keep walking like nothing happened, hoping that no one will notice you're burning so hard that you light up the night sky.

Your skin is made of flammable materials.
Your eyes are fiery comets.
Your fingers are fire matches.
Your heart is a third-degree burn wound.

Did I ever tell you that being struck by lightning was the only thing that ever made me feel alive - ablaze - alight - afire?



The English language lovers must have noticed the use of the Present Perfect Continuous tense ("I've been struck by lightning seven times.") which clearly indicates that the series is not over yet and other strikes could come at any minute :-))) Love always hits you when you least expect it. Aren't we all looking for that fire that will never be put out? :-)

The wisdom of life

"It's not about brains, it's not about the accumulation of knowledge, it's about being decent."

"It's more blessing to give than to receive because by giving, you receive."

"The change has to be in the heart."

"We have to learn to love something deeply!"

Dare to dream!

These are my dreams. What are yours?

http://www.trigwee.com/luiza82#/dreams?page=1

We all have a home somewhere

What does a droplet of rain feel as it reaches the surface of the ocean?
As if it belongs there.

What does the frozen girl feel like when snowflakes are falling on her cheeks?
As if she's being kissed by her frozen boy.

Who will you be when the end comes?

The end of the world will come, sooner or later. It's just a matter of time.

If this will occur during your lifetime, you'll have to decide quickly and take a stand. So, who will you be: one of the billions of people fighting for their own survival or one of the few who will sacrifice themselves for a greater good - the survival of mankind?

I am totally certain of whom I'm going to be. For me there is just one possible path. I don't love myself as much as I love all the others. And I'm happy to feel this way. Incredibly happy.

If you settled this issue, there is only one more decision to make: what is the image that you'll have in mind right before the whole world falls apart? I don't know about you guys, but I want to be sure that in front of my eyes will flash only moments of love. There is one picture that I like in particular. It always reminds me of the simple beauty of pure love. I think this is what I choose to have in mind in the last instant of my life:

And he smiled shyly at her
And she smiled back with tears in her eyes

And he held her hand as if he would never let go

And she let him hold her as if nothing will ever tear them apart

PS You should see "2012" on the largest screen that you can find in your town. It's really impressive!
PS The photo belongs to Dimitri Caceaune. (http://fhrankee.deviantart.com)

The future is unfolding now

What do you want to do in 2010?

If you're out of ideas, check out this inspiring website: www.43things.com

First things that spring to my mind:

- bring a smile on other people's faces;
- find hapiness in being by myself;
- being more focused on my long-term goals;
- becoming more self-confident;
- reading and writing more;
- stop feeling sorry for myself;
- being accepted to a masters programme in the UK.

Well, yes, no love involved I suppose. Too much scars and open wounds for now. 

It is said that the most beautiful things in life are free and... unexpected... so... I let my future suprise me. :-)

Not entirely hopeless

I think I know the answer to the question in my previous post:

when hope dies, another hope takes its place...

at least that's what I hope

and if I still hope that, it means that I'm not completely hopeless, right?

 Someone will reach out for me and grab my hand

What drives us towards a change?

Can we really change for the better? If we can, what drives us towards change? The loss of a dear one, a strong model in our life, the disappointment in our parents eyes? Or maybe true love?

We should try more

Recently, I've stumbled upon a piece of news that made me terribly sad and angry. An Oxford student committed suicide by hanging. He was 21 years old, he was bright and friendly but he was overwhelmed by sadness and disappointment. His Twitter profile showed signs of depression. He tried to warn us. He tried to reach for support. How could this happen?

Who is to blame?

How can friends or family members see that their beloved one has thoughts such as: "Who I’d like to meet: God — just to ask him what I’ve done wrong." and not do anything to prevent the tragedy?

How many times did I feel like I had reached the end of the road? How many times did I write about emptiness and despair? How many times did my so-called close ones worry about me? Never. They thought that my behavior was either childish, either temporary. Or, even if they really believed that I didn't find a purpose in life anymore, they still let me fight my demons all by myself, arguing that: "You're strong enough. I know you won't do it."

How can you risk a life just like that? How can you love someone and not take them seriously? How can you judge them by your own mentality? How can you not see when they ask for your help? How can you be so ignorant?

But this is not about me. This is about all those lost souls who desperately try to find something or someone to hang on and nobody gives a damn. This is about all those who are begging for our humanity. Have we really lost our humanity? Have we really died as humans?

There are still some of us who still care, who still try to make a difference, who still love mankind and who still find the time to save lives. Please read this wonderful text and learn from this young man how to save a life.

"Nothing can stop you from turning dust into rainbows, from drying people's tears."
OPEN YOUR EYES! OPEN YOUR HEART! BE HUMANE!

The real question

Where do you go when you have failed each and every one around you?
Where do you go when you have failed yourself like no one else has ever failed you before?
How can you hide this shame?
How can you bear this blame?
How can you expel yourself from your skin?
How can you be somebody else? Somebody stronger. Somebody sunnier. Somebody lighter.

I think the question is not: "To be or not to be?"
I don't think we have the power to choose in this matter.

The real question is: "How can you be when you no longer want to be?"
or
"Who can you be when you no longer want to be yourself?"