The Day You'll Find Me

I've got a ticket to your concert today.

You've been travelling half the world to meet me. You just don't know it yet. But I do. I do.

As I step into the concert hall, my knees begin to melt slowly. When I finally reach my seat, my body is already quivering from head to toe. This is the moment I've been waiting for all my life.

I couldn't have chosen a better spot. I'm right in front of the stage, merely two meters away from where you're going to play your guitar like no one else has ever played before.

The lights fade away and your band enters the stage in a thunderous burst of applause. Everyone is shouting the lead singer's name but I cannot see anything but you in front of my teary eyes.

I'm watching you as you approach with your bass guitar held tightly in your left hand. Your shy brown eyes look down at the floor, avoiding any possible eye contact and your skin is so incredibly pale that you seem to be on the verge of losing your conscience. With your curvy reddish lips and messy silky dark hair, you resemble a romantic poet caught up in a world where no one could possibly understand him. I cannot take my eyes off of you, for I've never seen so much sadness and so much beauty in one man before.

The first songs are some of your most popular singles. The whole concert hall vibrates with guitar riffs and drum beats. The audience is dazzled by the performance, but I am too lost in your music to hear them out. I am lustfully breathing your rhythmic bass sounds while I am staring at your long fingers passionately plucking the guitar strings.

As the show gets closer and closer to its climax, you plunge deeper and deeper into your inner musical world. I'm watching your body being completely swept away by an overwhelming emotion. Your limbs start shaking more and more nervously as all the muscles on your face get tenser and tenser. You don't follow the melody line anymore. Instead, you break the rhythm and burst into a hypnotic beat that leaves your band puzzled. People start whispering, confused by the sudden twist of the performance. The lead guitarist puts down his guitar and retreats in a shady corner, baffled by your behaviour. You're so caught up in a trance state of mind that he doesn't even dare interrupt you. At first, the drummer manages to keep up with your tempo but not for long because your music is now so chaotic that no one in the concert hall can follow you anymore. Your colleagues leave the scene in shock, while the chattering becomes louder and louder around me. Everything is on fire. The air smells like smoke and ashes, like love and blood. People are starting to rush for the exit doors. They cannot bare this frenzy anymore.

Suddenly, you throw the guitar on the floor and turn instinctively towards the piano in the shadiest corner of the stage. Not even bothering to seat down, you let your hands move spontaneously over the piano keys, touching them with outbursts of passion and fury.

I don't recall experiencing a feeling so intense before in my life. I couldn't keep the track of time but at a certain moment I find myself alone with you in the concert hall. I'm watching you leaning over the piano and playing the music of your heart as if you're playing the last song of your life. As if you have finally found a way to free your feelings, to express your emotions, to cry out your delusions, your fears, your failures.

You haven't noticed me yet. Your eyes are still closed and lost in your magic world that no one completely understands. Except me. Not only do I relate to everything that you are, but for me, your music speaks the language of my blood. I feel your rhythm, uneven as it is, echoing the pounding of my heart. Here is the only place where I feel alive: in between your sound beats, in between your heart beats.

Your piano play gets so hectic and your gestures so heated, that I fear that you'll end up collapsing. I am just about to stand up and run to you, to stop you from killing yourself but, at that very moment, you suddenly let your fingers finish abruptly the flow of the song and you head silently towards the centre of the stage.

You look just like a sad angel, with your skin so pale and your cheeks flushed by the deepest human emotions. Right before reaching the edge, you fall on your knees with tears streaming down your face. We are so close now that I can even smell the scent of your feverish body. For a moment, I think I'm about to swoon. My heart is beating so fast that I can feel it in every inch of my shivering body. The last thing that I remember is you, opening your tearful eyes and looking at me with the most beautiful eyes that I've ever seen.

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I open my eyes slowly. My sight is almost entirely blurry and all I can think is: "Where are you? I cannot lose you now. I've just found you." As I regain conscience, I feel a warm hand gently caressing my cold cheeks. I open my eyes as widely as possible and I see you, leaning over me and holding me in your arms. The veil of sadness has been lifted from your angelic face. We are at a loss for words but your eyes, the most beautiful eyes ever imagined, they are talking to me in all the languages of the world:

- "It is you, the one that I've been looking for so desperately."
- "I knew you'd find me. I've been waiting for you since forever."
- "It is only you who understands me."
- "It is only you who sings the music of my dreams."
- "I'll never leave you. I could never leave you. My blood is flowing in your veins."
- "I'll never doubt you. I could never doubt you. My heart is beating in your chest."

(first published in November 2009 on http://luiza82.deviantart.com/art/The-day-you-ll-find-me-143895300)